So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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