His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
