we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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