Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
