apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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