Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
