the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
