Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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