he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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