You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
