officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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