I think I just saw someone hide a body.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
