I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
