no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
