Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
