May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
