I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize