It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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