I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I smell stomach acid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
