Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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