I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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