I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
