I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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