does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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