I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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