Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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