so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize