Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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