Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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