what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
