ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
