So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
