hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
