I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
