Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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