how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the day after is always just damage control
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
