She is in my trunk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize