I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
