I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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