i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think i have herpe
just one?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
false alarm. still invincible.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
