Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
