Ambien. No doubt about it.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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