Got a toothbrush?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's Friday. Sex?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
