Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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