Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
