looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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