lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize