Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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