I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
