you traded sex for a burrito?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
