Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
