If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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