he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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