some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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