no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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