how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
