the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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