i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
