So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
