He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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