I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
